Christmas

This Christmas we wanted to make sure that we had a Christ centered Christmas. We decided to create an advent calendar that would remind us of Christ and what Christmas is all about. Below is a picturof the pieces for the calendar. We read a piece of the Christmas story every night and put up one or two pieces to go along with it.

Check Out Our Adoption Profile

Check out our adoption profile at https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26162891/ourMessage.jsf. You can learn more about us and our desire to adopt.

The 25 Things We Are Thankful For

Gary and Dan

This is a little belated, but we wanted to list the 25 things we are thankful for. John is helping me with this post, so they are coming from both of us. These aren't in any particular order I also want to include some of the pictures taken over Thanksgiving of the family.

Grandma Audrey, Linda, and John.

1. Each other

2. Family

3. A car that runs

4. A good job

5. The Gospel

6. The Temple

7. Animals/ Pets

8. Good Food/ Mom's cooking

9. A loving Heavenly Father    

10. Jesus Christ

11. A good home

12. Good neighbors and a good neighborhood

13. Friends

Grandma, Skyler, and Cammy

14. A healthy body

15. Theatre

16. Education

17. Sweets

18. Board games

19. Good movies

20. The chance to adopt

21. Good Books

22. Music

23. Medical Care

24. Insurance

25. The internet (when it works)

Halloween!

Here are those Halloween pictures I promised. They're a little late in coming, but they did make it on here. I also thought I would add some of our past pumpkin pictures in as well. I don't know what happened to one of our pumpkins for Halloween 2009. Oh well, enjoy.

John carving his pumpkin

Cassy carving John's pumpkin. Long story there.

The finished products

Light 'em up. Halloween 2011.

Pictures of pumpkins past. Halloween 2010

Halloween 2008

What's up?

Here's a little update on what is going on in our lives right now. The month of October just flew by. We didn't do much this month. In fact, I'm really not sure why this month went so fast because I can't think of anything that happened this month that would have made it go fast. John started his second block class and will soon be teaching in a high school up in Orem. He is super excited to teach. He is also working on his TWS (teacher work sample) and will finish that by the end of the semester. As for me, I haven't been doing much. I go to work, I come home, and I do nothing. It's kind of nice at times to not have to worry about any homework. This last week I went on a field trip with some fourth graders. We went to Discovery Gateway up in Salt Lake. It was a fun little children's museum and I would love to return with some younger kids. As for adoption, we haven't heard much, but thats ok. We celebrated Halloween and were so happy to see all the trick or treaters who came by. We love seeing the little ones in their costumes. I will post pictures of our pumpkin carving and the finished product soon.

Beautiful Heartbreak

I love this video. It kind of goes along with my last post.

Content

Many of you have been asking how things are going with adoption right now. We haven't been completely honest, because we don't want to tell everyone that we are going to get a baby and then have to tell them that we aren't. It's very similar to a miscarriage situation. Here is what's happening in our lives at the moment and a few deep thoughts.

We have been contacted by two people in the last two months concerning adoption. One was with a girl who wanted to place her baby for adoption. We got the contact in August and we were super excited to be having a baby in November. Unfortunately, she changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. We grieved, but now we are ready to move forward. Our other contact was from a family in Oregon who are trying to place a five and a six year old. We decided that this was not the opportunity that we were looking for. We did a lot of prayers and fasting to figure this out. There were many tears and a lot of things to think about.

After both of these experiences, I have been thinking a lot about the trials we are given while we are here on Earth. We are all given our own trials and they are fit just for us. No person is given a trial that they cannot overcome. I look at some trials that are given to people and I cannot fathom how to overcome them. I then watch them and how they endure their trials with grace and am amazed. We are given this trial for a reason. I don't know why, but God does. I am content with the trials that we are given. We can overcome them. I know that God loves me and has a plan for our family.

Update

I am a horrible blogger. Sometimes life gets so crazy that I forget that I have a blog to write on. I will try to be a little better in the future with it.

So here is what is happening in our lives. John's play goes up next week and we can't wait. It will be so nice to be home together without having to worry about what needs to be done with the play. I have enjoyed helping him with everything, but I am ready to have a calmer, less frazzled husband back.

As for me, I am working at Spring Creek Elementary. I am so grateful to have a job. I have been working in kindergarten, first grade, fifth grade, and third grade. I love working with the third graders. They are so much fun to be around and I love to see how much they have grown from second grade. That's the advantage to being an aide, you get to see the students growth from grade to grade because you get to work with the same students every year.

We're excited to continue forward in the adoption process. We are still waiting and praying that we will be able to grow our family. We need prayers as we continue forward. It has been a good thing, but at the same time it can be very hard. You never know what is going to happen from day to day.

Back to School

It's back to school time and boy are we ready, sort of. John goes back to school next week. He has a very busy semester filled with lots of learning. This will be his last semester before student teaching so he will be cramming in all his last minute classes. His MASK Club play goes up on September 22, so we are just finishing some of the little stuff. He is super excited. I started work at Spring Creek Elementary as a teacher aide yesterday. We have been testing reading. Nothing like coming back to school and taking a bunch of tests. Poor kids. I am also volunteering at the Utah Humane Society on top of work, kickboxing, working at the temple and stage managing for John's play. Nothing like being busy. I love it though. All is good here in the Whitehead household.

Poem

The Chosen Heart

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew
A part of me was meant for you.

I think how happy we will be,
Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.

I dream of all the joy you'll bring,
Imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
And tuck you in every night.

The drawing on the refrigerator door,
And childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again,
And hours of games with make-believe friends.

The day you took my outstretched hand,
A journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
Still warmed inside by our first embrace.

I promised to give you a happy home,
And a loving family all your own.
A house you've now made complete,
With laughter, smiles, and tiny feet.

A parent is one who guides the way,
Know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
A lifetime of love is yours to keep.

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me belonged to you.

(c) 1997 Teri Harrison

Testimony

I realized the other day that I haven't born my testimony in a long time. I think it's because I am scared of public speaking. As I was sitting in church on Sunday I realized how strong my testimony is and I want to share it somehow. So here it goes.

I have a very strong testimony of the blessings the temple can bring us. I wish I could describe in words how important being sealed is. I wish I could tell people about all the blessings that can be theirs if they are sealed to their family. The biggest blessing, that can be put into words, is that we get to be with our families forever. I have been working in the temple for over half a year now. I have just recently been called to be a guide for those who are coming to the temple for the first time. Looking into their faces and seeing how happy they are is the best thing ever. They are so full of happiness. Those are being sealed are my favorite to see. They love each other so much and it shows just in their smiling faces. I want to sit with them all day and soak up their feelings and to tell them that life only gets better. I want to tell them that they will only love each other more as time passes. I have seen this in my own marriage. I love John more now than when we got married. I also realize how much more important being sealed is. I have had the privilege to be sealed twice, once to my family and once to my husband. I can still remember kneeling at the alter with my family when we got sealed. We were all dressed in white and it was beautiful. The second time, to my husband, I can remember a little bit more. I remember looking at him and thinking that he was the one I would get to spend eternity with. Happy tears welled up in my eyes as we were sealed together forever. I feel so blessed to know that our children will be able to be sealed to us for time and all eternity.

I just want everyone to know how grateful I am that my family joined the church and that we were able to be sealed together for time and all eternity. I am grateful for my husband and for the love that we share with each other. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let me stay with those I love, forever. I am grateful for the things that we are taught everyday in the temple and for the truths that are revealed. And I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony. Thank you all for your support and thank you for letting me share this part of my testimony with you.

Anniversary Thoughts

Today is our anniversary. We have officially been married for three years. On this day I like to think about all the things we have been through together in the last year, that I can remember anyways.

Right after our anniversary last year we took a trip to Yellowstone. It was one of the best trips ever and I was so excited to see all the hot water shooting out of the ground. John thought my reaction was priceless.

After that school started and I started my student teaching. It was rough. I would come home sometimes and cry because I didn't think I was going to make it. John held me through these tough moments and we got through it.

I graduated in December and was so relieved that school was over for me. At the same time I went through the whole "what do I do now" phase of my life. I got a job as a teacher aide at Spring Creek Elementary. It wasn't my ideal job, but it was a job and I was using my degree. Now that I can look back at it I an truly appreciate that opportunity.

We also started to work in the temple as ordinance workers. This has been the best opportunity that I have ever had, and John feels the same way. We have gotten so close to our Heavenly Father and our testimonies have grown immensely. I now work as a living ordinance guide, which means I get to be involved with the sealings/marriages in the temple. I am reminded every week of the covenants I made with my husband and Heavenly Father the day I was sealed and I am so blessed.

This was also around the time that we started doing intrauterine insemination. We would have to call into the doctor the day I ovulated and I would have to move my busy schedule around in order to go to the doctor. It was hard sometimes and my loving husband held me through it. After about 2 tries with the IUI we had to stop for a little while. This is when we decided to adopt. We went through the process, got approved, and are waiting now. And we held each other through the whole thing.

Just recently we took our annual anniversary trip down to San Diego. We went swimming with the belugas and we got to see some animals really up close. We had a blast. And that brings us to today, our third anniversary. We still love each other very much. I feel so privileged to be able to spend eternity with my loving husband and I am so grateful for him.

Some Days Are Hard

I would like to start this post with an analogy someone told me once. It really touched me and I think about it often as John and I go through the easy times and the hard times with infertility.

You go to a nice five star restaurant. This restaurant is known for their wonderful desserts and you can't wait to get to that course. The waiter brings you your appetizer and it's pretty good. You talk a little with the other people at the table and then your entree arrives. The entree is awesome and fills you up just right, leaving plenty of room for dessert. This main course is the most important part of your meal and you enjoy every moment of it. You know you are getting close to the dessert and you get more and more excited. Once you finish your main course the waiter asks you if you would like dessert. Well, of course you do. You order a huge piece of chocolate cake. Now this is the best of all chocolate cakes and you can't wait for this dessert. Everyone around you orders their dessert and you continue to have a good time. The waiter brings out the desserts, but you notice that yours isn't there. You try to say something, but you can't before he leaves. You wait patiently for your dessert that never comes.

The appetizer is meeting my husband for the first time and realizing that he is the one for me. The main course in this analogy I like to think of as my marriage to a wonderful loving husband for time and all eternity. The dessert is our kids.

Having infertility is hard sometimes. Some days I can deal with it fine, but there are some days where I wish with all my heart that I were one of the people in our ward that has two kids already, with one on the way. The hard part is when you think you are over your infertility and then it raises its ugly head once again. This usually happens when someone talks about being pregnant and how hard pregnancy is. It's not so much that I mind hearing about someone being pregnant, but how they complain about how hard pregnancy/labor is. I would give anything to have morning sickness, back pain, doctor's appointments, and all the other uncomfortable things that go along with being pregnant. I would love to know how painful labor is, because, in the end, we would have one of God's precious souls to raise as our own.

Some days are harder than others. Fortunately, the good days out number the bad. If any of you are wondering about the meaning of this post it is simply to share feelings and to show that life is not always good, even when you are adopting. I would like to also say that I like to hear when people are pregnant, so for any of you reading this, don't think that it hurts to hear about your great news. This is also not a pity post, it is just simply a way to show that we are human. Thank you to all of our readers and for all the support that is given to us.

Spread the word

We are officially approved for adoption. To see our profile you can go to http://www.itsaboutlove.org and search our names John and Cassy. Or you can go straight there by entering in this address https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26162891/ourMessage.jsf
We could use everyone's help as we search for our family.

FAQ

So a lot of you have been asking some questions and we thought that we would answer some of them for you. Below are the questions with their answers. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. We are open to anything.

1. What's the adoption process?

In order to begin adoption with LDS Family Services you have to attend an orientation meeting. This is where they tell you all the facts about adoption and where you get to learn about the rest of the process. For us it was the time to decide whether it was the right decision or not. After the orientation meeting you fill out some paperwork, like the recommendation letter request that is sent to your Bishop. Once all the beginning paperwork is in you are assigned a caseworker. You have an intake interview, where you get all the paperwork you will ever want to fill out, and then you go and fill all that out. The paperwork includes background checks, intense questionnaires, and recommendation letter requests. After all of this is filled out you get to have joint interviews, individual interviews, and then, finally, a home visit. While you are waiting to do all the interviews you create a birth parent letter and collages that will eventually go onto you online profile. Once all of this is completed and you are approved by your caseworker, your profile goes up online and then you wait until a lovely birth parent finds you.

2. How much does it cost?

LDS Family Services only requires you to pay 10% of what your annual income is, no less than $4000. Since we make less than $40,000 a year we only have to pay the minimum. Adoptive couples also have the option of paying pass through expenses. This money goes towards helping the birth parents before and after placement. The pass through expenses are $3000.

3. What is open adoption?

Open adoption is when you know the birth parents of your adopted child. Your adopted child also knows their birth parents and there is contact between you and the birth parents. Contact can be anything from just letters and pictures, to face to face visits. We have chosen to do open adoption and we are open to visits if that is what will be the best for the child.

4. Why choose open adoption over closed adoption?

Open adoption has advantages for everyone. The adoptive couple gets to meet the birth parents and to get to know them. This means that you know the medical records of the child and you know about things that may arise as your child grows up. You also have the possibility of making a lifelong friend. The adoptive child gets to know their birth parent. They know that they are adopted, so there are no surprises later. They also get to form a relationship with their birth parents that is more like an aunt or family friend. Open adoption lets the child know that their birth parents love them very much, and that they didn't just "give them up." Lastly, open adoption has many benefits for the birth parents. Open adoption allows birth parents to go through the grieving process in a way that can help them. They know that the baby they have placed is loved and they get to participate in that love. There are many benefits for all sides in open adoption and that is why we have chosen to do open adoption. We want our child to know who their birth parents were and we want to be supportive to the birth parent who is willing to place one of God's special spirits with us.


5. Do you want a boy or a girl?

We are hoping for a boy or a girl or even both. We will even take twins or a family group. We believe that God will make that decision, just like he would if it were going to be a biological child.

6. Would you like a child of a different race?

We are very open to a transracial adoption. We love all cultures and races. We believe that any child that is placed with us is our child whether they are white, black, pink, blue, brown, or green.

Almost approved

We will have our home visit this week and then we should be approved. We also had our training and it was awesome. It was so good to hear the different stories that were shared from both adoptive couples and birth mothers. We are excited to be able to adopt and we are totally excited about having and open adoption. Thanks for every ones support and love for us.

Almost there

We are almost there. We have our collages done, our birth parent letter is almost complete, and now we are just waiting for our background checks. Once we have those back we will have our home visit. Next weekend we have our ten hour training. The classes we get to attend look fun and educational. I am especially excited about the class on The Bigger Picture of Adoption. This class is going to show us how to take care of our new baby. We are super excited to be approved and to start our family.

Phase 3

We are in phase 3 now. We are getting our pictures together to make our collage
and we have been writing our letter to the Birth Parent who will eventually choose us to be the parents for their child. We are so excited and we can't wait to go to the training in June. We will be approved after the training and then it will just be waiting. We will be distributing pass along cards and we ask that everyone will help us look for the special mother who is willing to place their baby with us.

Phase 2

So we are in phase 2 of the adoption phase. We have completed the questionnaires and all the paper work that needs to be submitted. The questionnaires were extensive, but they will be worth it. Now all we have to do is the interviews and home study. Next step is to create our profile and do the training. We are so excited! We will make sure to let everyone know how everything goes.

Caseworker

We have been assigned a caseworker! We have our intake interview on Monday and then we go from there. We are super excited!

Application In

So we have turned in our application for adoption. We are now waiting for the call saying that they have received our bishop's letter of recommendation. They will also tell us at that time who our caseworker is and then the process really begins. We are supper excited and anxious. We hope everything will go well. After we have been assigned a caseworker we will have to do a ten hour training in June in order to be eligible to adopt. Wish us luck.

Poem

Here is a poem that was published in the Ensign that meant a lot to me.

Just the Same

By Diana Lynn Lacey

Sometimes—
God sends rain
Straight from the sky
To nourish the young flower
and it grows.

Sometimes—
God sends rain from the sky
To the mountaintops,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until it reaches the flower
and it grows, just the same.

Sometimes—
God sends a child
Straight from His realm
Into a mother’s arms
and love grows.

Sometimes—
God sends a child
From heaven to another’s arms,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until he reaches the arms of his mother
and love grows, just the same.


We know that no matter where our child comes from we will love them no matter what.

Just Beginning

Our names are John and Cassy. We were married in the Manti, Utah temple on August 8, 2008. We have been attending school at BYU for the past couple of years. Cassy graduated in December of 2010 with a degree in elementary education and John will graduate with a degree in Theater Education in April of 2012. We have had a very happy marriage. We go on lots of vacations, money permitting, and we love every minute we spend together. Our recent vacation took us to Yellowstone National Park and we have a trip planned to California in July of this year. We both have a love for animals and strongly agree that we would like our children to grow up with a love of animals. Someday we hope to have a nice cozy home with children running around bringing joy to our lives.

This is what we had always wished for. We began to try to have children about 2 years ago. We went through one year with no luck and so we decided to see a doctor. We discovered that all was well with John, but that Cassy had several problems. We tried several rounds of Clomid, progesterone and Intrauterine Insemination. Nothing seemed to work and the time came to give fertility treatments a rest. As we prayed and fasted to know what we should do, we got valuable advice from the doctor and from a church magazine called the Ensign. We would like to include what the doctor said to us: "The Lord has children for you, but we just don't know how or when they will get here." He said this when we asked him what his thoughts were on adoption. We had been praying about adoption and if we should try it. This was one of the answers that we got. We feel very strongly that Heavenly Father has children for us, even if those children come from somewhere else. We are writing this blog to share our journey through the adoption process.