Testimony

I realized the other day that I haven't born my testimony in a long time. I think it's because I am scared of public speaking. As I was sitting in church on Sunday I realized how strong my testimony is and I want to share it somehow. So here it goes.

I have a very strong testimony of the blessings the temple can bring us. I wish I could describe in words how important being sealed is. I wish I could tell people about all the blessings that can be theirs if they are sealed to their family. The biggest blessing, that can be put into words, is that we get to be with our families forever. I have been working in the temple for over half a year now. I have just recently been called to be a guide for those who are coming to the temple for the first time. Looking into their faces and seeing how happy they are is the best thing ever. They are so full of happiness. Those are being sealed are my favorite to see. They love each other so much and it shows just in their smiling faces. I want to sit with them all day and soak up their feelings and to tell them that life only gets better. I want to tell them that they will only love each other more as time passes. I have seen this in my own marriage. I love John more now than when we got married. I also realize how much more important being sealed is. I have had the privilege to be sealed twice, once to my family and once to my husband. I can still remember kneeling at the alter with my family when we got sealed. We were all dressed in white and it was beautiful. The second time, to my husband, I can remember a little bit more. I remember looking at him and thinking that he was the one I would get to spend eternity with. Happy tears welled up in my eyes as we were sealed together forever. I feel so blessed to know that our children will be able to be sealed to us for time and all eternity.

I just want everyone to know how grateful I am that my family joined the church and that we were able to be sealed together for time and all eternity. I am grateful for my husband and for the love that we share with each other. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let me stay with those I love, forever. I am grateful for the things that we are taught everyday in the temple and for the truths that are revealed. And I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony. Thank you all for your support and thank you for letting me share this part of my testimony with you.

Anniversary Thoughts

Today is our anniversary. We have officially been married for three years. On this day I like to think about all the things we have been through together in the last year, that I can remember anyways.

Right after our anniversary last year we took a trip to Yellowstone. It was one of the best trips ever and I was so excited to see all the hot water shooting out of the ground. John thought my reaction was priceless.

After that school started and I started my student teaching. It was rough. I would come home sometimes and cry because I didn't think I was going to make it. John held me through these tough moments and we got through it.

I graduated in December and was so relieved that school was over for me. At the same time I went through the whole "what do I do now" phase of my life. I got a job as a teacher aide at Spring Creek Elementary. It wasn't my ideal job, but it was a job and I was using my degree. Now that I can look back at it I an truly appreciate that opportunity.

We also started to work in the temple as ordinance workers. This has been the best opportunity that I have ever had, and John feels the same way. We have gotten so close to our Heavenly Father and our testimonies have grown immensely. I now work as a living ordinance guide, which means I get to be involved with the sealings/marriages in the temple. I am reminded every week of the covenants I made with my husband and Heavenly Father the day I was sealed and I am so blessed.

This was also around the time that we started doing intrauterine insemination. We would have to call into the doctor the day I ovulated and I would have to move my busy schedule around in order to go to the doctor. It was hard sometimes and my loving husband held me through it. After about 2 tries with the IUI we had to stop for a little while. This is when we decided to adopt. We went through the process, got approved, and are waiting now. And we held each other through the whole thing.

Just recently we took our annual anniversary trip down to San Diego. We went swimming with the belugas and we got to see some animals really up close. We had a blast. And that brings us to today, our third anniversary. We still love each other very much. I feel so privileged to be able to spend eternity with my loving husband and I am so grateful for him.

Some Days Are Hard

I would like to start this post with an analogy someone told me once. It really touched me and I think about it often as John and I go through the easy times and the hard times with infertility.

You go to a nice five star restaurant. This restaurant is known for their wonderful desserts and you can't wait to get to that course. The waiter brings you your appetizer and it's pretty good. You talk a little with the other people at the table and then your entree arrives. The entree is awesome and fills you up just right, leaving plenty of room for dessert. This main course is the most important part of your meal and you enjoy every moment of it. You know you are getting close to the dessert and you get more and more excited. Once you finish your main course the waiter asks you if you would like dessert. Well, of course you do. You order a huge piece of chocolate cake. Now this is the best of all chocolate cakes and you can't wait for this dessert. Everyone around you orders their dessert and you continue to have a good time. The waiter brings out the desserts, but you notice that yours isn't there. You try to say something, but you can't before he leaves. You wait patiently for your dessert that never comes.

The appetizer is meeting my husband for the first time and realizing that he is the one for me. The main course in this analogy I like to think of as my marriage to a wonderful loving husband for time and all eternity. The dessert is our kids.

Having infertility is hard sometimes. Some days I can deal with it fine, but there are some days where I wish with all my heart that I were one of the people in our ward that has two kids already, with one on the way. The hard part is when you think you are over your infertility and then it raises its ugly head once again. This usually happens when someone talks about being pregnant and how hard pregnancy is. It's not so much that I mind hearing about someone being pregnant, but how they complain about how hard pregnancy/labor is. I would give anything to have morning sickness, back pain, doctor's appointments, and all the other uncomfortable things that go along with being pregnant. I would love to know how painful labor is, because, in the end, we would have one of God's precious souls to raise as our own.

Some days are harder than others. Fortunately, the good days out number the bad. If any of you are wondering about the meaning of this post it is simply to share feelings and to show that life is not always good, even when you are adopting. I would like to also say that I like to hear when people are pregnant, so for any of you reading this, don't think that it hurts to hear about your great news. This is also not a pity post, it is just simply a way to show that we are human. Thank you to all of our readers and for all the support that is given to us.

Spread the word

We are officially approved for adoption. To see our profile you can go to http://www.itsaboutlove.org and search our names John and Cassy. Or you can go straight there by entering in this address https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26162891/ourMessage.jsf
We could use everyone's help as we search for our family.

FAQ

So a lot of you have been asking some questions and we thought that we would answer some of them for you. Below are the questions with their answers. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. We are open to anything.

1. What's the adoption process?

In order to begin adoption with LDS Family Services you have to attend an orientation meeting. This is where they tell you all the facts about adoption and where you get to learn about the rest of the process. For us it was the time to decide whether it was the right decision or not. After the orientation meeting you fill out some paperwork, like the recommendation letter request that is sent to your Bishop. Once all the beginning paperwork is in you are assigned a caseworker. You have an intake interview, where you get all the paperwork you will ever want to fill out, and then you go and fill all that out. The paperwork includes background checks, intense questionnaires, and recommendation letter requests. After all of this is filled out you get to have joint interviews, individual interviews, and then, finally, a home visit. While you are waiting to do all the interviews you create a birth parent letter and collages that will eventually go onto you online profile. Once all of this is completed and you are approved by your caseworker, your profile goes up online and then you wait until a lovely birth parent finds you.

2. How much does it cost?

LDS Family Services only requires you to pay 10% of what your annual income is, no less than $4000. Since we make less than $40,000 a year we only have to pay the minimum. Adoptive couples also have the option of paying pass through expenses. This money goes towards helping the birth parents before and after placement. The pass through expenses are $3000.

3. What is open adoption?

Open adoption is when you know the birth parents of your adopted child. Your adopted child also knows their birth parents and there is contact between you and the birth parents. Contact can be anything from just letters and pictures, to face to face visits. We have chosen to do open adoption and we are open to visits if that is what will be the best for the child.

4. Why choose open adoption over closed adoption?

Open adoption has advantages for everyone. The adoptive couple gets to meet the birth parents and to get to know them. This means that you know the medical records of the child and you know about things that may arise as your child grows up. You also have the possibility of making a lifelong friend. The adoptive child gets to know their birth parent. They know that they are adopted, so there are no surprises later. They also get to form a relationship with their birth parents that is more like an aunt or family friend. Open adoption lets the child know that their birth parents love them very much, and that they didn't just "give them up." Lastly, open adoption has many benefits for the birth parents. Open adoption allows birth parents to go through the grieving process in a way that can help them. They know that the baby they have placed is loved and they get to participate in that love. There are many benefits for all sides in open adoption and that is why we have chosen to do open adoption. We want our child to know who their birth parents were and we want to be supportive to the birth parent who is willing to place one of God's special spirits with us.


5. Do you want a boy or a girl?

We are hoping for a boy or a girl or even both. We will even take twins or a family group. We believe that God will make that decision, just like he would if it were going to be a biological child.

6. Would you like a child of a different race?

We are very open to a transracial adoption. We love all cultures and races. We believe that any child that is placed with us is our child whether they are white, black, pink, blue, brown, or green.

Almost approved

We will have our home visit this week and then we should be approved. We also had our training and it was awesome. It was so good to hear the different stories that were shared from both adoptive couples and birth mothers. We are excited to be able to adopt and we are totally excited about having and open adoption. Thanks for every ones support and love for us.

Almost there

We are almost there. We have our collages done, our birth parent letter is almost complete, and now we are just waiting for our background checks. Once we have those back we will have our home visit. Next weekend we have our ten hour training. The classes we get to attend look fun and educational. I am especially excited about the class on The Bigger Picture of Adoption. This class is going to show us how to take care of our new baby. We are super excited to be approved and to start our family.