Some Days Are Hard

I would like to start this post with an analogy someone told me once. It really touched me and I think about it often as John and I go through the easy times and the hard times with infertility.

You go to a nice five star restaurant. This restaurant is known for their wonderful desserts and you can't wait to get to that course. The waiter brings you your appetizer and it's pretty good. You talk a little with the other people at the table and then your entree arrives. The entree is awesome and fills you up just right, leaving plenty of room for dessert. This main course is the most important part of your meal and you enjoy every moment of it. You know you are getting close to the dessert and you get more and more excited. Once you finish your main course the waiter asks you if you would like dessert. Well, of course you do. You order a huge piece of chocolate cake. Now this is the best of all chocolate cakes and you can't wait for this dessert. Everyone around you orders their dessert and you continue to have a good time. The waiter brings out the desserts, but you notice that yours isn't there. You try to say something, but you can't before he leaves. You wait patiently for your dessert that never comes.

The appetizer is meeting my husband for the first time and realizing that he is the one for me. The main course in this analogy I like to think of as my marriage to a wonderful loving husband for time and all eternity. The dessert is our kids.

Having infertility is hard sometimes. Some days I can deal with it fine, but there are some days where I wish with all my heart that I were one of the people in our ward that has two kids already, with one on the way. The hard part is when you think you are over your infertility and then it raises its ugly head once again. This usually happens when someone talks about being pregnant and how hard pregnancy is. It's not so much that I mind hearing about someone being pregnant, but how they complain about how hard pregnancy/labor is. I would give anything to have morning sickness, back pain, doctor's appointments, and all the other uncomfortable things that go along with being pregnant. I would love to know how painful labor is, because, in the end, we would have one of God's precious souls to raise as our own.

Some days are harder than others. Fortunately, the good days out number the bad. If any of you are wondering about the meaning of this post it is simply to share feelings and to show that life is not always good, even when you are adopting. I would like to also say that I like to hear when people are pregnant, so for any of you reading this, don't think that it hurts to hear about your great news. This is also not a pity post, it is just simply a way to show that we are human. Thank you to all of our readers and for all the support that is given to us.