Beautiful Heartbreak

I love this video. It kind of goes along with my last post.

Content

Many of you have been asking how things are going with adoption right now. We haven't been completely honest, because we don't want to tell everyone that we are going to get a baby and then have to tell them that we aren't. It's very similar to a miscarriage situation. Here is what's happening in our lives at the moment and a few deep thoughts.

We have been contacted by two people in the last two months concerning adoption. One was with a girl who wanted to place her baby for adoption. We got the contact in August and we were super excited to be having a baby in November. Unfortunately, she changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. We grieved, but now we are ready to move forward. Our other contact was from a family in Oregon who are trying to place a five and a six year old. We decided that this was not the opportunity that we were looking for. We did a lot of prayers and fasting to figure this out. There were many tears and a lot of things to think about.

After both of these experiences, I have been thinking a lot about the trials we are given while we are here on Earth. We are all given our own trials and they are fit just for us. No person is given a trial that they cannot overcome. I look at some trials that are given to people and I cannot fathom how to overcome them. I then watch them and how they endure their trials with grace and am amazed. We are given this trial for a reason. I don't know why, but God does. I am content with the trials that we are given. We can overcome them. I know that God loves me and has a plan for our family.

Update

I am a horrible blogger. Sometimes life gets so crazy that I forget that I have a blog to write on. I will try to be a little better in the future with it.

So here is what is happening in our lives. John's play goes up next week and we can't wait. It will be so nice to be home together without having to worry about what needs to be done with the play. I have enjoyed helping him with everything, but I am ready to have a calmer, less frazzled husband back.

As for me, I am working at Spring Creek Elementary. I am so grateful to have a job. I have been working in kindergarten, first grade, fifth grade, and third grade. I love working with the third graders. They are so much fun to be around and I love to see how much they have grown from second grade. That's the advantage to being an aide, you get to see the students growth from grade to grade because you get to work with the same students every year.

We're excited to continue forward in the adoption process. We are still waiting and praying that we will be able to grow our family. We need prayers as we continue forward. It has been a good thing, but at the same time it can be very hard. You never know what is going to happen from day to day.

Back to School

It's back to school time and boy are we ready, sort of. John goes back to school next week. He has a very busy semester filled with lots of learning. This will be his last semester before student teaching so he will be cramming in all his last minute classes. His MASK Club play goes up on September 22, so we are just finishing some of the little stuff. He is super excited. I started work at Spring Creek Elementary as a teacher aide yesterday. We have been testing reading. Nothing like coming back to school and taking a bunch of tests. Poor kids. I am also volunteering at the Utah Humane Society on top of work, kickboxing, working at the temple and stage managing for John's play. Nothing like being busy. I love it though. All is good here in the Whitehead household.

Poem

The Chosen Heart

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew
A part of me was meant for you.

I think how happy we will be,
Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.

I dream of all the joy you'll bring,
Imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
And tuck you in every night.

The drawing on the refrigerator door,
And childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again,
And hours of games with make-believe friends.

The day you took my outstretched hand,
A journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
Still warmed inside by our first embrace.

I promised to give you a happy home,
And a loving family all your own.
A house you've now made complete,
With laughter, smiles, and tiny feet.

A parent is one who guides the way,
Know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
A lifetime of love is yours to keep.

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me belonged to you.

(c) 1997 Teri Harrison

Testimony

I realized the other day that I haven't born my testimony in a long time. I think it's because I am scared of public speaking. As I was sitting in church on Sunday I realized how strong my testimony is and I want to share it somehow. So here it goes.

I have a very strong testimony of the blessings the temple can bring us. I wish I could describe in words how important being sealed is. I wish I could tell people about all the blessings that can be theirs if they are sealed to their family. The biggest blessing, that can be put into words, is that we get to be with our families forever. I have been working in the temple for over half a year now. I have just recently been called to be a guide for those who are coming to the temple for the first time. Looking into their faces and seeing how happy they are is the best thing ever. They are so full of happiness. Those are being sealed are my favorite to see. They love each other so much and it shows just in their smiling faces. I want to sit with them all day and soak up their feelings and to tell them that life only gets better. I want to tell them that they will only love each other more as time passes. I have seen this in my own marriage. I love John more now than when we got married. I also realize how much more important being sealed is. I have had the privilege to be sealed twice, once to my family and once to my husband. I can still remember kneeling at the alter with my family when we got sealed. We were all dressed in white and it was beautiful. The second time, to my husband, I can remember a little bit more. I remember looking at him and thinking that he was the one I would get to spend eternity with. Happy tears welled up in my eyes as we were sealed together forever. I feel so blessed to know that our children will be able to be sealed to us for time and all eternity.

I just want everyone to know how grateful I am that my family joined the church and that we were able to be sealed together for time and all eternity. I am grateful for my husband and for the love that we share with each other. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let me stay with those I love, forever. I am grateful for the things that we are taught everyday in the temple and for the truths that are revealed. And I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony. Thank you all for your support and thank you for letting me share this part of my testimony with you.

Anniversary Thoughts

Today is our anniversary. We have officially been married for three years. On this day I like to think about all the things we have been through together in the last year, that I can remember anyways.

Right after our anniversary last year we took a trip to Yellowstone. It was one of the best trips ever and I was so excited to see all the hot water shooting out of the ground. John thought my reaction was priceless.

After that school started and I started my student teaching. It was rough. I would come home sometimes and cry because I didn't think I was going to make it. John held me through these tough moments and we got through it.

I graduated in December and was so relieved that school was over for me. At the same time I went through the whole "what do I do now" phase of my life. I got a job as a teacher aide at Spring Creek Elementary. It wasn't my ideal job, but it was a job and I was using my degree. Now that I can look back at it I an truly appreciate that opportunity.

We also started to work in the temple as ordinance workers. This has been the best opportunity that I have ever had, and John feels the same way. We have gotten so close to our Heavenly Father and our testimonies have grown immensely. I now work as a living ordinance guide, which means I get to be involved with the sealings/marriages in the temple. I am reminded every week of the covenants I made with my husband and Heavenly Father the day I was sealed and I am so blessed.

This was also around the time that we started doing intrauterine insemination. We would have to call into the doctor the day I ovulated and I would have to move my busy schedule around in order to go to the doctor. It was hard sometimes and my loving husband held me through it. After about 2 tries with the IUI we had to stop for a little while. This is when we decided to adopt. We went through the process, got approved, and are waiting now. And we held each other through the whole thing.

Just recently we took our annual anniversary trip down to San Diego. We went swimming with the belugas and we got to see some animals really up close. We had a blast. And that brings us to today, our third anniversary. We still love each other very much. I feel so privileged to be able to spend eternity with my loving husband and I am so grateful for him.